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patron saint of optimicynicism
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| not being emo |
[Jun. 2nd, 2008|12:58 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
for a very long time, i've been meaning to write, to enthuse, and to bemoan... about a few things.
but somehow, i'm afraid to express these thoughts, afraid to verbalize them into words. the magical therapy of putting thoughts to paper seems to have run over its course and a new form of medication is now in need.
i don't have much to say for tonight, except this:
i'm not always perfect, and i might have done one or two terrible things in my time (usually in bad judgement). but i love you more than you (and i) can ever know.
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| i love you. |
[May. 27th, 2008|08:32 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
they may only be words, but i wished you would say them to me. thrice a week, twice a month, or even just once a year. |
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| holding on to the little goodness that is left. |
[Mar. 16th, 2008|11:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | eason chan | ] |
why hello again.
i've been away, drenched in self-pity about a means of livelihood that matters not much but only to fulfill a monthly expectation of extra numbers in my bank account. despite this, i strive to maintain an idealistic and hopeful view of it all. i refuse to believe that the only way up is through forming deceitful allies and by 'playing the game'. there has got to be someone out there who believes in reason and justice, or at least adhere to those values as best as possible.
well enough about that.
life otherwise has been rather peachy. i bought a bicycle the other weekend. bike rides in the park with the dinosaur seem set to become a saturday late afternoon activity mainstay. i now have fond memories of riding through spiders-infested mangroves with golden rays of light beaming through the gaps between the trees. there are certain memories that are non-transferable with another person, and this is one of them.
oh monday is upon us once again. may it be a day filled with smooth-sailing tasks and pleasant dealings. but of course, it will be quite the opposite - false accusations will abound, people with an allergy to expressing gratitude swarm my inbox and more impossible deadlines thrown at my face.
the only thing that saves the day is when he tells me...
"you are the nicest person ever." |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2008|12:44 am] |
i'm slipping, and i need someone to hold my hand. |
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| a malaysian in tokyo. |
[Feb. 1st, 2008|02:27 am] |
12:35am: currently yakuta-donned, and sitting at my desk in a hotel in ginza, writing this while munching on ebi crackers bought from an am/pm convenience store.
tokyo is just fucking amazing, as expected. so far i've only covered tsukiji (besides the much famed fish market, nothing much else), ginza and shinjuku. will be heading to harajuku, aoyama and shibuya tomorrow.
ghibli museum, kichijoji, a bit more of shinjuku and kabukicho at night on the day after.
it is impossible to see and experience everything in this city in just four days... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2008|12:32 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
taking a break from packing for a minute. yes, it's that time of the year again - HOLIDAY TIME.
i'm losing any sort of capacity to make proper posts anymore.
events of the past week or so:
- the dinosaur and i went to adopt a kitten at RSPCA. my ranking has been slowly slipping since then.
- rearranged wardrobe. how can i feel that i have so much clothes, yet at the same time feel that i don't have enough yet?
- moving away from glebe is becoming more of a reality as boxes start filling up the corridors.
- stayed over at the dinosaur's for the first time
- got my first round of cervical cancer vaccinations. i hate needles, so the dinosaur came along to point out the fact that i'm a baby. (and to also administer hugs and kisses as after-vaccination treats)
- staged intervention during dinner to stop a good friend from moving to malta for a questionable boy.
BUT! i still haven't:
- lost weight
- quit my job
- finished packing for my one month trip
- installed photoshop on my mac book pro (somebody teach me how to use this damn thing)
- won the lottery
- gotten past chapter 3 of "the complete idiot's guide to learning italian"
- made okonomiyaki for the dinosaur
- watched "Lust, Caution" (GAH, I WANT TO WATCH THIS BUT I CAN'T!!!!)
another splendid monday tomorrow. how i look forward to thee. |
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| resolutions are made to be broken |
[Jan. 2nd, 2008|01:11 am] |
is it wrong to not have any new years resolutions?
two days into the new year, but i'm already content with what i've got... so far, that is.
there is always going to be that "lose 15 pounds" thing somewhere on the list, or a "don't fuck up that good thing you've got", though if i were to be pressed to name one thing i REALLY want for this year - it'd be to experience the world.
anyway, can't complain about life of late. the dinosaur and i had just returned from what seemed like an eternity together in melbourne. imagine being in each other's faces all day and all night long. the only time i got a reprieve from him was when either one of us needs to do a poo. the only time i did not have to speak to him was when we fell asleep together at night. otherwise, it was certainly a test of endurance for this relationship.
i'm happy to report that, despite the unfavourable conditions that were imposed (i get agitated and grumpy in hot weather and extremely annoyed when there is a proliferation of bugs. melbourne was a sweltering 42C for a good portion of the time we were there and it was fly season to boot), the dinosaur and i emerged unscathed by each other's idiosyncrasies that were unearthed during this "romantic getaway".
in other news, i still have not fully understood the inner-workings of my macbook pro. and there are all these web apps that i can't use because they don't support mac osx? bah.
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| in the hopes of writing something more meaningful for christmas, i could only achieve the following. |
[Dec. 25th, 2007|11:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
my boyfriend said to me today, "you haven't updated your blog in ages!"
so i thought i'd do a quick update or the benefit of my loyal stalkers.
where shall i begin?
1_ well, i finally bought my mac book pro from jb-hifi. i still feel like a PC though.
2_ work is still dreadful.
3_ i added another stupid (miu miu) bag to my horribly overgrown bag collection.
4_ i'm heading off to melbourne tomorrow morning for a few days with the dinosaur.
5_ another 3 more weeks before my month-long trip back to the motherland (and japan).
6_ christmas eve dinner with dinosaur's family served as anthropologically interesting observation into italian family life (and also cuisine).
in other words, my life is now a healthy balance between wonderful and terrible. with the wonderful mostly to do with the fact that someone finally gets to reap the benefits of my kegel exercises, and the terrible... i don't really need to emphasize this point.
i'm going to get back to packing lots of unnecessary things for melbourne now!
thanks for tuning in. next broadcast: when the sex starts turning bad.
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| believe or not... |
[Dec. 16th, 2007|10:47 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | the cutey patootey | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | glen hansard - falling slowly | ] |
i am happy.
i am happy!
happy happy happy.
HAPPY.
h a p p y.
Happy. :)
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| let this be an unsaid goodbye, o' comic guy |
[Dec. 6th, 2007|08:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | summer crickets | ] |
i knew it would happen one day. and now that it has, i am inconsolably crest-fallen.
my comic book guy has quit his job at kinokuniya.
the good news is that he only moved downstairs to JB-Hifi. the bad news is that i don't shop at JB-Hifi.
kinokuniya has over the past few months garnered lesser and lesser sales from me. as much as it is my favorite bookstore, my loyalty still lies with my bank balance. and they can't beat the 40% discount vouchers Borders have been putting out. it doesn't help that kino hasn't brought out much interesting graphic novels either. (i missed out on that osamu tezuka one a few weeks ago. UGH)
oh well.
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| playing hooky from the daily doldrums of life has its rewards |
[Nov. 25th, 2007|10:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
it's weird how after being in a prolonged melancholic phase, that even the slightest experience of contentment makes you feel guilty about not maintaining the doom and gloom front.
it is with a very peculiar feeling in my bones tonight as i write about how my last two weekends have just been fucking great. really.
i went to melbourne for the fourth time, but fell in love with a whole different aspect of that city. over three days, i had breakfast at degraves espresso, shopped along all the lane ways, arcades and little streets, slept on a deck chair guzzling beer above curtin house on a breezy friday afternoon, and spied on scruffily debonair middle-aged men and some hipster asian boys at st. jeromes. and i fucking love that cafe along flinders lane - Journal.
AAAAAND! i met some people who knew the kino comic book guy. they have informed me that he is a complete nerd, even owning that light saber toy thingy. my guess is that he probably bought that goddamn thing from kino himself so people would stop pressing the fucking button and making the sound go off every 15 minutes.
so that was melbourne.
this election weekend is an entirely different story. i went on a day-long date with someone. a late yum-cha lunch, napping on the couch while watching "The Island of Dr. Moreau", dinner at his special italian place (where we bumped into his ex-girlfriend and her entire family which hates the shit outta him), and stood on a 'private' beach at brighton le sands on a full moon night (while getting eaten alive by mosquitoes) and a... um, post-event resulting from a 'malfunctioned shower head'. on sunday, he made me some eggs/sundried tomatoes/zucchinis on toasted rye bread with avocado spread for brunch, smoked cigars and drank port on the deck, and really just spent the rest of the day talking and laughing.
i must say, i'm the happiest i've ever been in a while. and the best part is that he only lives 10 kilometers from me. maybe the spell has finally broken. :)
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| there is a potensh. |
[Nov. 21st, 2007|01:21 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | at homeeee | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | a.keys | ] |
he smells nice on me. :) |
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| emo jess needs love |
[Nov. 2nd, 2007|01:16 am] |
at the end of the day, what is lost... is still lost.
i'm sad tonight. :(
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2007|02:11 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
work has been bad. i've been working across six different accounts and just over a dozen jobs, not including some additional shitty crap i was asked to do. as Chunky(lover) said - "at jessica's workplace, there are the incompetent people, and the veryyyyyy incompetent people".
today my eyes nearly bled from updating a fucking HTML file with Homesite. so in order to soothe my very tired eyes, we went to watch the very docile 'eastern promises' at bondi junction. i must say that it is a relief, for once, to have seat numbers specified on your tickets. i think i am beginning to get over the first-in-best-seats policy.
'eastern promises' is... mmm... intense. i didn't read the reviews but i trust that most would definitely mention a particular 'bath house scene', which i will not elaborate any further on, but if you are familiar with david cronenberg's work, it wouldn't be hard to guess why. let's just say it did not help soothe my bleedy eyes.
going away from the shock value, the film has a very significant theme about tattoos.
not that i've been thinking about getting one, but i've become quite fascinated of late with criminal tattoos, like the full body yakuza irezumis. in 'eastern promises', it is said that your life story is written on your skin. i looked up some of the tattoos viggo mortensen sported for this role and there is this one line written in russian - Пусть будет сном что пережито мною - which means "Let all I have lived be as if it were a dream".
isn't that just so poetic? :)
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