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patron saint of optimicynicism

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not being emo [Jun. 2nd, 2008|12:58 am]
patron saint of optimicynicism
[Current Mood |tiredtired]

for a very long time, i've been meaning to write, to enthuse, and to bemoan... about a few things.

but somehow, i'm afraid to express these thoughts, afraid to verbalize them into words. the magical therapy of putting thoughts to paper seems to have run over its course and a new form of medication is now in need.

i don't have much to say for tonight, except this:

i'm not always perfect, and i might have done one or two terrible things in my time (usually in bad judgement). but i love you more than you (and i) can ever know.

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i love you. [May. 27th, 2008|08:32 am]
patron saint of optimicynicism
[Current Mood |sadsad]

they may only be words, but i wished you would say them to me. thrice a week, twice a month, or even just once a year.
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holding on to the little goodness that is left. [Mar. 16th, 2008|11:08 pm]
patron saint of optimicynicism
[Current Mood |hopefulhopeful]
[Current Music |eason chan]

why hello again.

i've been away, drenched in self-pity about a means of livelihood that matters not much but only to fulfill a monthly expectation of extra numbers in my bank account. despite this, i strive to maintain an idealistic and hopeful view of it all. i refuse to believe that the only way up is through forming deceitful allies and by 'playing the game'. there has got to be someone out there who believes in reason and justice, or at least adhere to those values as best as possible.

well enough about that.

life otherwise has been rather peachy. i bought a bicycle the other weekend. bike rides in the park with the dinosaur seem set to become a saturday late afternoon activity mainstay. i now have fond memories of riding through spiders-infested mangroves with golden rays of light beaming through the gaps between the trees. there are certain memories that are non-transferable with another person, and this is one of them.

oh monday is upon us once again. may it be a day filled with smooth-sailing tasks and pleasant dealings. but of course, it will be quite the opposite - false accusations will abound, people with an allergy to expressing gratitude swarm my inbox and more impossible deadlines thrown at my face.

the only thing that saves the day is when he tells me...

"you are the nicest person ever."
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(no subject) [Feb. 25th, 2008|12:44 am]
patron saint of optimicynicism
[Current Mood |broken]

i'm slipping, and i need someone to hold my hand.
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a malaysian in tokyo. [Feb. 1st, 2008|02:27 am]
patron saint of optimicynicism
[Current Location |ginza, tokyo]
[Current Mood |exhaustedexhausted]

12:35am: currently yakuta-donned, and sitting at my desk in a hotel in ginza, writing this while munching on ebi crackers bought from an am/pm convenience store.

tokyo is just fucking amazing, as expected. so far i've only covered tsukiji (besides the much famed fish market, nothing much else), ginza and shinjuku. will be heading to harajuku, aoyama and shibuya tomorrow.

ghibli museum, kichijoji, a bit more of shinjuku and kabukicho at night on the day after.

it is impossible to see and experience everything in this city in just four days...
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(no subject) [Jan. 29th, 2008|02:19 pm]
patron saint of optimicynicism
[Current Location |KL, malaysia]
[Current Mood |optimisticoptimistic]

tonight: 東京

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(no subject) [Jan. 14th, 2008|12:32 am]
patron saint of optimicynicism
[Current Mood |tiredtired]

taking a break from packing for a minute. yes, it's that time of the year again - HOLIDAY TIME.

i'm losing any sort of capacity to make proper posts anymore.

events of the past week or so:

- the dinosaur and i went to adopt a kitten at RSPCA. my ranking has been slowly slipping since then.
- rearranged wardrobe. how can i feel that i have so much clothes, yet at the same time feel that i don't have enough yet?
- moving away from glebe is becoming more of a reality as boxes start filling up the corridors.
- stayed over at the dinosaur's for the first time
- got my first round of cervical cancer vaccinations. i hate needles, so the dinosaur came along to point out the fact that i'm a baby. (and to also administer hugs and kisses as after-vaccination treats)
- staged intervention during dinner to stop a good friend from moving to malta for a questionable boy.

BUT! i still haven't:

- lost weight
- quit my job
- finished packing for my one month trip
- installed photoshop on my mac book pro (somebody teach me how to use this damn thing)
- won the lottery
- gotten past chapter 3 of "the complete idiot's guide to learning italian"
- made okonomiyaki for the dinosaur
- watched "Lust, Caution" (GAH, I WANT TO WATCH THIS BUT I CAN'T!!!!)

another splendid monday tomorrow. how i look forward to thee.
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it might not be worth being upset over, but it doesn't mean i can help not being so. [Jan. 3rd, 2008|11:42 pm]
patron saint of optimicynicism
[Current Mood |moodymoody]

by all accounts, i'm happy with the way (most) things are at the moment.

but then why am i blue tonight?
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resolutions are made to be broken [Jan. 2nd, 2008|01:11 am]
patron saint of optimicynicism
[Current Location |on my own bed]
[Current Mood |sleepysleepy]

is it wrong to not have any new years resolutions?

two days into the new year, but i'm already content with what i've got... so far, that is.

there is always going to be that "lose 15 pounds" thing somewhere on the list, or a "don't fuck up that good thing you've got", though if i were to be pressed to name one thing i REALLY want for this year - it'd be to experience the world.

anyway, can't complain about life of late. the dinosaur and i had just returned from what seemed like an eternity together in melbourne. imagine being in each other's faces all day and all night long. the only time i got a reprieve from him was when either one of us needs to do a poo. the only time i did not have to speak to him was when we fell asleep together at night. otherwise, it was certainly a test of endurance for this relationship.

i'm happy to report that, despite the unfavourable conditions that were imposed (i get agitated and grumpy in hot weather and extremely annoyed when there is a proliferation of bugs. melbourne was a sweltering 42C for a good portion of the time we were there and it was fly season to boot), the dinosaur and i emerged unscathed by each other's idiosyncrasies that were unearthed during this "romantic getaway".

in other news, i still have not fully understood the inner-workings of my macbook pro. and there are all these web apps that i can't use because they don't support mac osx? bah.

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in the hopes of writing something more meaningful for christmas, i could only achieve the following. [Dec. 25th, 2007|11:24 pm]
patron saint of optimicynicism
[Current Mood |chipperchipper]

my boyfriend said to me today, "you haven't updated your blog in ages!"

so i thought i'd do a quick update or the benefit of my loyal stalkers.

where shall i begin?

1_ well, i finally bought my mac book pro from jb-hifi. i still feel like a PC though.
2_ work is still dreadful.
3_ i added another stupid (miu miu) bag to my horribly overgrown bag collection.
4_ i'm heading off to melbourne tomorrow morning for a few days with the dinosaur.
5_ another 3 more weeks before my month-long trip back to the motherland (and japan).
6_ christmas eve dinner with dinosaur's family served as anthropologically interesting observation into italian family life (and also cuisine).

in other words, my life is now a healthy balance between wonderful and terrible. with the wonderful mostly to do with the fact that someone finally gets to reap the benefits of my kegel exercises, and the terrible... i don't really need to emphasize this point.

i'm going to get back to packing lots of unnecessary things for melbourne now!

thanks for tuning in. next broadcast: when the sex starts turning bad.

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